Achieving Goals By Being Self Motivated

Pink and Blue Clouds with caption: Achieving goals by being self motivated

Is Self Motivation Intrinsic or Learned?

Is self motivation a characteristic that we are born with or is it one that develops with maturity? I believe it is partly a characteristic we are born with, but it can be developed. Being self motivated helps you to reach your goals. It is part of being resilient and not giving up when the going gets tough.

I have always been self motivated.   Even when my upbringing did not support that.  I wasn’t particularly intelligent like my brother who could get straight As without too much effort.  My success in my education came from hard work and self motivation. My parents did not support me when I wanted to go to university.  Because I’m female they said it would be a waste of time because I would get married and wouldn’t use it. I always had a desire to earn a degree so I achieved it on my own, while I was working and looking after my young children. 

No-one needs to push me to do something,  my drive comes from inside of me.  I have never understood someone who doesn’t exercise unless they have someone else to exercise with. I have always had this characteristic, it is an intrinsic trait I was born with. Can someone who isn’t self motivated by nature develop that trait?  I believe they can.

Quote:  "Being self motivated helps you to reach your goals.  It is part of being resilient and not giving up when the going gets tough" Christina Henry, Midlifestylist.com
Being Self Motivated quote

My tips for becoming self motivated are:

Set deadlines for yourself. 

This works well if you tend to procrastinate.   For example my course officially finishes in May but I wanted to complete it before I go back to work in April so I worked on it for a minimum of an hour a day to reach my deadline. 

Routines are important.  

I wake up early so that I can walk my dog in the morning. I have improved my sleeping patterns so much just by going to bed at the same time.  If you have a set routine for your day, healthy habits become second nature.

Make appointments with yourself. 

This might sound crazy but if you schedule time in your week for exercise, meditation or self care activities you are more likely to achieve them. Make your goals a priority and they will be easier to achieve.

Get the support of others. 

I have never understood someone who won’t exercise unless they have a friend with them.  But for many people this makes the difference between doing it or not.  Just make sure your exercise partner is as enthusiastic as you or it might backfire.

Enlist the help of professionals. 

This has helped me enormously in two areas of my life.  I was successful in losing 19kg because I went to a dietician.  The Exercise Physiologist is training me to build up my strength after losing so much condition.   Neither of those goals would have been achievable without professional help. 

Invest in yourself.  

I admit there would have been times when I would have thrown in the towel during my immunisation course.  The only thing motivating me to keep going was the amount of money I invested in it.  You’re more likely to stick at something if you paid for it. 

A hand holding a piece of paper with the words "I can't do it". Scissors cutting the t off can't so that it reads "I can do it".  Underneath are the words I achieved my goals by being self motivated.  Hard work pays off.  Midlifestylist.com
I achieved my goals by being self motivated. Hard work pays off

How being self motivated has helped me

My big news is that I am about to reach my goal of returning to my job as a Registered Nurse. Those of you who have been regular followers know that I had complications after surgery last year. I had a haemorrhage after a bilateral mastectomy which resulted in two further surgeries and a long recovery. To be able to return to work I needed to be able to fulfil all the job requirements including being able to do CPR and heavy patient cares.

I have been seeing an Exercise Physiologist since November to work on my upper body strength because I was so deconditioned after not being able to exercise for six months. It was slow progress at first because I had so much pain from using muscles that had been neglected. This year I have really turned the corner and I am seeing great results from my hard work. My Exercise Physiologist timed me doing CPR and I was able to do it for 2 minutes without any problems at all. I also needed to lift 3kg above my head and do modified push ups which I have been able to do for the last few weeks.

Achieving My Goals By Being Self Motivated

My boss is supporting me to return to work gradually, starting at 2 days per week after Easter. I am so excited at the prospect of being able to work again! I used to think it would be great to not have to work but now that I’ve been forced into that position, all I have wanted to do is get back there! There’s more to work than making a living. It’s feeling fulfilled and making a contribution to society. Nursing is a very rewarding career.

My other achievement this week is that I completed my Immunisation course. This was my Plan B in case I couldn’t return to my job. It helped me to switch on my nursing brain, and I realised that I still have it! I still think like a nurse, and I am still capable of being able to use my 35 years of experience in a positive way. It gave me a lot of confidence in my own abilities.

My word of the year is resilience. Hard work definitely does pay off. Don’t give up!

The sense of achievement when you finally reach goals that have been incredibly challenging is like no other. These other articles may be of interest if you would like some motivation to reach your goals:

Shared on Weekend Coffee Share on Natalie the Explorer’s blog and Life This Week Linkup on Denyse Whelan’s blog

Continue Reading

You may also like

Update on Resilience, My Word of the Year

Update on Resilience - My Word of the Year

Improving my Resilience is My Goal for the Year

My word of the year is resilience.  I thought I would update my readers on how my goal of improving my resilience is going.  Resilience means to keep trying despite setbacks, to never give up.  I chose this as my word of the year to inspire me even when I feel like giving up.  

One Year After Being Diagnosed with BRCA2 Genetic Mutation

It is one year since I was diagnosed with BRCA2, a genetic mutation that increases your risk of cancer.  Since I was diagnosed with BRCA2 my life has been altered dramatically.  A year ago I was a productive member of society with a job, and pretty good health.  As soon as I got that diagnosis I knew that I wanted prophylactic surgery.  There was no doubt in my mind.  I have looked after patients with ovarian and breast cancer my entire career and I always had in the back of my mind that I would take any steps to avoid either of them.

What is BRCA2?

Because BRCA2 increases your risk of cancer by so much, and if you do get cancer it’s usually the most aggressive kind, the best treatment is to avoid it.  I had been screening yearly for 10 years leading up to this, and there’s almost a feeling of inevitability about it.  You’re waiting for them to tell you that one of the areas they’ve been watching has become cancerous.  So there was really no decision to make – I was going to have prophylactic surgery.

BRCA2 Mutation Cancer Risk infographic.  For women, the cancer risk is 40-84% of developing breast cancer, 11-27% ovarian cancer and 2-7% pancreatic cancer.  Source: Ovarcome
BRCA2 Mutation Cancer Risk infographic. For women, the cancer risk is 40-84% of developing breast cancer, 11-27% ovarian cancer and 2-7% pancreatic cancer. Source: Ovarcome

I expected both surgeries to go well.  You never consider that there could be complications, the only thing on your mind is getting rid of the offending organs that could give you cancer.  First cab off the rank was my ovaries – a relatively low risk, minimally invasive operation because I had already had a hysterectomy.

Suffering Surgical Complications 

The complication from this relatively small, keyhole operation is rare, but has changed my life.  I went into bladder retention – my bladder was stretched beyond capacity and has not sprung back into shape.  I have an atonic bladder now – it doesn’t work.  It’s probably permanent because the nerves were damaged and the muscle fibres stretched beyond their limits.  Even corrective surgery by a urologist hasn’t made any difference.

There is one positive – because I’m a nurse I can self cathetarise so I don’t need an indwelling catheter.  To be able to pass urine I need to insert a cathetar.  I get really upset about this because at 54 years old, I don’t want to think my bladder is completely stuffed.  But the reality is that it IS stuffed.

More Surgical Complications Post Mastectomies

The complication after the bilateral mastectomies was also rare.  This was another life-changing complication that I’m still dealing with.  I haemorrhaged on the left side post-operatively.  My blood count dropped really low and I needed several blood transfusions and emergency surgery to locate the bleeding area.  The swelling remained for months afterwards.  I needed even more surgery to wash out the cavity and treat  the area for infection.

Lifetime BRCA1 and BRCA2 Cancer Risks for Men.  Many people do not realise that BRCA1 and 2 affects men as well.  Prostate cancer runs in my family with my grandfather, father and brother having it.  Dad also had pancreatic cancer.  Melanoma also runs in my family - brother, sister and son.  Source:  Basser Research Centre for BRCA
Lifetime BRCA1 and BRCA2 Cancer Risks for Men. Many people do not realise that BRCA1 and 2 affects men as well. Prostate cancer runs in my family with my grandfather, father and brother having it. Dad also had pancreatic cancer. Melanoma also runs in my family – brother, sister and son. Source: Basser Research Centre for BRCA

The Physical and Mental Affects of a Prolonged Recovery

My recovery has been prolonged because I wasn’t allowed to do any exercise apart from walking until the swelling subsided.  That meant six months without using my upper body for anything more strenuous than lifting a cup.  When I was finally allowed to do yoga, my muscles went into spasm and I was in severe agony.

I knew that I wouldn’t be able to improve my upper body strength without professional help.  My GP was very understanding and supportive and has much more insight into patients returning to work after injury or surgery.  He referred me to an exercise physiologist to build up my physical strength.  Because I was struggling with the emotional fall-out from all of this, he referred me to a psychologist as well.

Improving Mentally and Physically

It’s approximately 3 months since then.  Emotionally and mentally I’m so much stronger.  My psychologist helps me to look at things from a different point of view, and has given me strategies to deal with the grief and stress.  She doesn’t pat me on the hand and tell me it’s going to be alright.  I need more than that.  I need to work through the emotions that have come up from these surgical complications.

Physically, it’s been a hard slog.  The exercise physiologist can’t increase my exercises too quickly because it can result in severe muscle pain.  I do an hour long program that she gives me, three times a week.  I see her once a week to ensure I’m doing the exercises with the correct technique, and to learn new exercises.

The ultimate goal other than improving my resilience, is to return to work.  My boss has offered to reduce my hours to two shifts a week which will at least enable me to return to my job.  She has been incredibly supportive throughout the whole ordeal.  I couldn’t wish for a better boss.  If I continue to improve at my current rate, I will return to work in April.

Lack of Understanding From My Surgeon

Today I had a post operative visit with my breast surgeon.  There is always a little bit of anxiety leading up to these appointments because I’ve had so many occasions where I felt really upset.  Usually his first question is  “Are you back at work yet?”.  Despite me explaining that my employer won’t let me go back until I am back to 100% capacity and able to do CPR and heavy manual handling, he never understood.   I always felt like he was judging me for it – as if I didn’t want to work.  He even asked me straight out a few times if I wanted to work.  

Not once has he ever taken the blame for what happened to me.  In his opinion, my post-op haemorrhage couldn’t possibly be his fault.  He tried to shift the blame, even sent me to see a haematologist to find out if I had a bleeding disorder.  

Post-operative Complications Can and Do Happen

As a nurse, I know that post-op complications can happen.  When they consent you for any procedure large or small, part of the consent process is to discuss the complications that may happen.  I’ve only seen a haemorrhage after breast surgery once in my career and it was as dramatic as mine.  

I’ve been unlucky to suffer a few complications post surgery previously so I have a better understanding than most people.  That is why I’ve never blamed the haemorrhage on my surgeon.  But the fact that he tries to shift the blame to me has worn thin.  I’m not contemplating getting compensation for this, or suing him, but a lot of people would. 

The Cost of a Prolonged Recovery 

This has cost me a massive amount of money in lost wages and medical expenses and I’m just lucky I had income protection insurance through my superannuation fund.  I don’t live my life with regrets usually but there have been times when I’m really depressed because of the way my life has changed in the last year.  

BRCA and cancer - BRCA1 and 2 increase the risk of cancer for both men and women.  Source: Penn Medicine's Basser Research Centre for BRCA
BRCA and cancer – BRCA1 and 2 increase the risk of cancer for both men and women. Source: Penn Medicine’s Basser Research Centre for BRCA

Even though the last year has been difficult, and my quality of life has changed, I’m still able to be positive about the future.  I wasn’t willing to accept that I would not be able to work again.  At times I have wondered why I try so hard.  Then I count my blessings.  My parents both died of cancer, and it looks like my brother will too (he has advanced prostate cancer).  I have beaten cancer and don’t have that hanging over my head.

Being Resilient and Looking to the Future

Even when things seemed hopeless, I still had the power to change direction.  I wasn’t willing to let fate decide that I would never be well enough to work again.  I sought help.  And I continue to work hard to get back to the person I was, changed in many ways but the old me.  That’s what resilience has meant to me in the last year.

If you would like more information on BRCA genetic mutation and cancer risk, these are the other posts I have written:

Shared on Weekend Coffee Share Linkup on Natalie the Explorer’s blog, Life This Week Linkup on Denyse Whelan’s blog and Senior Salon Linkup on Esme Salon’s blog

Continue Reading

You may also like

My Word of the Year 2021 is Resilience

Word of the Year 2021

Why I Am Choosing A Word of The Year

Choosing a word of the year can be more effective than setting New Years’ Resolutions.  New Years’ Resolutions can fall by the wayside, whereas a Word of the Year embodies a positive quality that you wish to strive for throughout the year. In this post I will explain the reason my Word of The Year 2021 is Resilience. 

I have read articles from my favourite bloggers throughout 2020 that mention their Word of the Year.  Debbie Harris’ word for 2020 was Jump, while Elisabeth McKnight says that “A word of the year sets to your goals and direction in the new year.  By tying all of your goals back to your overarching word, it is easy to keep them front-of-mind.”  I like that the word becomes a common theme in their blog posts throughout the year, reminding us that they are keeping on track with their overall goal for the year.

Why I Chose Resilience as My Word Of The Year 2021

A running theme through many of my posts in 2020 was my prolonged recovery from several surgeries. I have had many setbacks in my journey towards recovery, therefore the need for resilience in my life has been in focus.  I have been inspired by other people who have overcome health issues, especially my parents-in-law.  Their resilience to aging and failing health has been admirable.

Resilience to my health challenges and the change in my lifestyle has been difficult to achieve.  I have really struggled during this time.  I am not good at adapting to change, so this enormous change in my life (going from a fully functional, healthy, productive member of society to being someone who can’t work because of ill health) has been really difficult.

Why I Want to Be Resilient

I want to become more resilient which means adapting to change better.  It also means persevering even when lack of progress tempts me to just give up.  It means finding inspiration in other people’s triumph over adversity.  Lastly, it means not being hard on myself when I have setbacks or am slow to improve.

Resilience collage - 8 images.  Slogans: You got this; A little progress each day adds up to big results; Be positive, patient and persistent; The best view comes after the hardest climb; Stay positive.
Resilience: Don’t Give Up

Inspiration from Businesses Who Are Resilient

Resilience was chosen as the Word of the Year 2020 by Arianna Huffington, CEO of Thrive Global in this article.  Huffington says that  she chose this word because resilience is a quality that will carry over from the challenges of 2020 into the New Year as we recover from the pandemic.  Resilience is the ability to get through challenges, but it also means using adversity as a catalyst to get better and become stronger.

Small businesses that were able to pivot during the pandemic were able to thrive.  For example, when lockdowns and restrictions forced the closure of cafes and restaurants, many of them turned to home delivery.  The closure of cafes and restaurants reduced the need for fresh produce.  One local company who previously supplied wholesale produce, offered home delivery and the demand soared.  Local manufacturers of bath and body products and even breweries started producing hand sanitiser to meet the demand.

What Being More Resilient Means To Me

I want more resilience so that I can overcome the health challenges I have faced in 2020, and become stronger and healthier both mentally and physically.  I want to strive for improved health and strength so that I can return to work this year.  And if that goal ends up not being achievable I want to be more resilient to my change in lifestyle.  I want to adapt to my new normal better, and become more accepting of it.  I want to learn more skills and broaden my knowledge so that I can change direction if necessary.  That will require me to be more resilient.

How I Will Achieve Resilience In 2021

I have taken steps already to build my resilience.  My fate is in my own hands so I took the first steps towards improved wellbeing.  My mental health was suffering so I started seeing a psychologist.  Being able to talk about my struggles and develop skills to deal with issues has been very worthwhile.  

I was not content with being held back from working due to my health so I sought help from my GP.  I am now seeing an Exercise Physiologist weekly and building my strength back.  It takes dedication and hard work but I am determined to do it.  My goal is to be back at work this year,to a job that requires both physical and mental fortitude.

My motto will be “Don’t Give Up”.  No matter how long it takes, I am determined to overcome the health struggles of 2020 and reach my goal.  I may need to pivot like successful businesses have done, but I will face that possibility if the need arises.  I am starting a course that will open up other career opportunities for me as a nurse.  That is my “Plan B” just in case.

Have you chosen a Word of the Year for 2021?  If not, you may find some inspiration in these articles:

This post was shared on Life This Week Linkup and Word of the Year Linkup

Continue Reading

You may also like